What You Need:
♥A place to get trees (This can be a nursery, tree farm, back yard, wilderness. Finding your place of choice will require some ground work like Facebook stalking, internet browsing, or newspaper reading)
♥A vehicle to get paid for/cut down tree from one location to the home in which it will stand and look pretty and smell good (This is where another person with a big car will come in handy)
♥A Cat (This is not necessary but it is highly entertaining to watch a cat pounce around under a Christmas tree. It's also highly annoying to try and put lights on tree while cat is attacking the tree branches and running between your legs.)
What To Do:
Once you've done the ground work and asked around about trees (or saw that you're friend on Facebook got a Charlie Brown Christmas Tree just the size you are looking for at the plant nursery down the street) you've then decided on a place to get your tree. Either you've gone with a nursery that sells them or found a woodsman and are going to chop one down. So you're driving along, driving along, and all of a sudden you're there at the tree place! Woo!
So, now you're walking around the tree place and you spot the perfect douglass fir. The right size for your one room apartment, the right shape (it actually looks like a Christmas tree), and you get it. It's yours. Now what? Well you either need to find a tree stand so it wont fall over in the apartment or let the nice man at the nursery build you a tree stand. Next it's time to load that
sucker tree into the vehicle. If you have a friend who has a van and your tree is small enough you can just stand/lean the tree inside. If not you'll probably strap it to the top of the vehicle. Then, you're driving along, driving along and all of a sudden you're home again! (Oh, yeah. You've also been to some Christmas store/Target to get Christmas lights) Place your prize in the corner or where it fits and is close to an outlet so you can plug in those lights. Then get to decorating. Watch out for that cat thats running between your legs and under the tree while you string lights and hang decorations. Watch it! There's the cat again attacking a tree branch! Make sure your tree has plenty of water in the stand. Don't let the water in the tree stand. Stand back and look at your success. Or get all child like and lay on your back under the tree and look up at the lights.
OK, let's say that you really don't have room for a tree. You can just deck out the apartment in lights. Put them on the radiator. You can put them in little glass bowls and put them on your table. Candles that smell like Christmas Trees and a little table top tree (real or fake depending on what you're nose can handle.) And you're set! Put on The Bells of Dublin and rock around the alternative Christmas Tree tonight!