Sunday, December 4, 2011

How To Do Alone: Going To A Movie

A while ago I asked readers to pick the next HTDA outing for the series. Out of a few choices, “Going To A Movie” was the winner. So here it is readers. Finally. It’s been a long while, I know. But I did it. Just for you. How To Go To A Movie Alone.

What You Need:
 A movie in mind.
A theater playing said movie
Some movie cash. The price of movie outings have really increased since I used to go to movies as a kid (listen to me talk like I went to movies when they were a quarter or a nickel). You’ll need at least $20. I know, I know. You’d think that if you’re going to brave something alone you could at least do something that was kind to you’re wallet. Well, tonight you're being kind to yourself. Beat up that wallet and fish out the dough to take you’re self out to a nice movie. This "niceness" may or may not include popcorn, drink, candy. It depends on how nice you can really afford to be.
A big purse. If you’re not someone who carries purses, try a messenger bag or back pack. But, I’m not sure how suspicious looking a big back pack is in the theater. You’re just carrying you’re wallet and money in it after all. Right? I mean, you're not bringing outside food or beverages into the theater in the giant oversized purse able to fit a bag of mini Twix and two bottles of cream soda. No, sir. Nope. Not you. Ahem.
A sweater or jacket because it sometimes gets pretty cold in the theater.  

What to do:
Ok. Lets do this. You’re going out on the town. Alone. Don’t think of it as something to fear. Think of this as taking you’re self on a date. I suggest dressing up. Not only will you feel good about taking the best dressed guy/girl in town out for a movie, but looking you’re best really helps you feel you’re best. I know I feel better when I look like the best Skemp around. And feeling your best when you’re doing something that makes you queazy (like being in public alone) is always a good thing. I’m not saying you have to spend hours getting ready. This isn’t a first date. You’re going out with your oldest dearest friend who loves to dress up because it’s fun. And this is all about having some fun.

So you’ve picked a movie and found the theater and have the money and you’re all gussied up now it’s time to go. So you’re there in the ticket line waiting to buy your ticket and all of a sudden you notice there are couples all over the place. I mean couples, significant other couples, husbands and wives, wives and wives, grandparentes, two friends, old lovers, new boyfriends, have infested the place. It’s like you are the only “alone” person on the face of this movie-going earth. Don’t  panic. Remember, you look fabulous, you are brave, and you are strong. Just breathe steadily in and out.

Also: You can look directly at the couples without wilting into loneliness. You’re just alone you aren’t lonely. Remember that once the movies starts no one will see you and you wont be able to see the infestation of couples. While the lights are on take this time to people watch. Listen to the way people talk to each other, see what movies most people are going to see, look at the way people interact with one another. You can store all this info to use in  a short story about moviegoers. Plus, when you get you’re ticket and you go into the theater, you can pick the seat you want without having to worry about where the other person wants to sit. Also you can eat all the candy/pop corn yourself. Once seated you can keep people watching or you can look at the theater around you, the curtains, fire escapes. Formulate an exit strategy if zombies start coming in from the front of the theater and the rear. Soon the lights will dim. Hey, get excited! You’re watching a movie! In a theater! ALONE! AH HA! LOOK AT YOU! SHHHHHH!! SHHHHH! Down in Front!

What I did:
I went to see the movie Beginners. I chose something I hadn’t heard about or read any reviews about. It was a chance, but it stars Christopher Plummer, Ewan McGregor, and Melanie Laurent. So I didn’t think it could go too wrong. I did dress up, thank you very much. I wore a dress and I looked great. I don’t suggest taking a camera into a theater. I mean you can. It’s kind of fun. But… a little cumbersome. I also walked around the theater when the movie was over. I also went to a late night showing. Think about it, late night showing of an obscure film = not as many people with which to tango. 

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