There are many things that scare me; spiders, clowns, zombies, over-crowded elevators, confined spaces, and the unseen things that lurk in the shadows, just to name a few. But all those things and the myriad others are phobias, actual fears and there isn’t much I can do about them.
So, what about things that I am simply uncomfortable with? Well, let me tell you that if I had the means, I would go shark diving in a heart beat. I’m terrified of sharks, but find them utterly fascinating. The thought of being in the water with something that is, essentially, unchanged since the dawn of time is both petrifying and exhilarating.
Unfortunately, shark diving takes time and money, neither of which I have in vast quantities. Now what? Here I am at zero hour and with nothing more than the vague notion that given the right circumstances I’d jump in the water with the greatest predator in the world. As exciting as the idea is to me, no one wants to read about what someone might do.
To cut a long story short (too late!), I finally got an idea. I am going to make an admission. Thinking hard on it, I’ve come to the realization that admitting to something and then doing something about it is scarier than coming face to face with a great white. Here it goes:
Hello. My name is Clara Maxwell, and I want to be a writer. I never thought to admit this and then act on it, although I knew the day would come. *deep breath* I want to be a writer, and I have too many ideas. They are all swirling around in my head, combating each other for space in my priorities. As a result, I ignore them all and go play video games to tune them out. I can’t be a writer if I slack off every time one idea trips another in their attempts to get my attention.
So, here is the part that I really wasn’t looking forward to. I sat down last night, wrote down every idea that I have, and then I said goodbye to all but five. It broke my heart, especially since one of the stories I cut was my original story, the one that made me want to write in the first place. I’ve been dreading doing this, but I knew it was inevitable.
I hope that, someday in the future, I can come back and save them from oblivion. Until I am capable and mature enough in my career as a writer, I can’t afford to lug them along in the hopes that I can do something with all of them. I need to focus on the stories that have a real possibility to become something.
Starting with November, I am only going to write and research these five stories in the hopes that I can be a better writer for it.
Happy Halloween every one, see y’all on the flip side!