An Argument

Probably the only person who'll find this week's installment funny is my Mom. To everyone else, take a peek at what happens when an argument breaks out between Edward Teach,  a.k.a.Blackbeard and Det. Darcy Stebbins. (I figured I should probably name the poor girl, she does suffer so.)

And we have a new ghost, so everyone make him feel welcome. He's certainly not getting any love from Darcy and Edward.


“Oh, come off it, ducky. You don’t know what you’re saying.” Blackbeard took giant steps around Darcy’s apartment. For being a ghost, he had very heavy footsteps.

“I don’t why you’re so adamant about this, Edward. I’d hardly think it was a subject you were well versed on.” Darcy threw her hands up and turned away from Blackbeard’s tantrum.

“When you’ve been haunting as long as I have you pick up on a few things. And I’m right.”

“There is no right or wrong here, Edward. There’s just preference. And my preference is of no concern to you. Now will you shut up about it?”

“Not until you admit it!” Blackbeard slammed his giant fist onto the table and upset the papers of its occupant.

“My dear, I think it would behoove us to placate him on this one matter.” The red-haired gentleman gathered his scattered papers and leveled an appeasing gaze at Darcy.

“No, Patrick. I’m not giving in to his childish temper. And what are you doing here anyway? I already told you to shove off.”

“Is that anyway to speak to your ancestor?”  Patrick heaved a dramatic sigh. “I’ve obviously lost my golden touch in death. I used to move men with my words. Now look at me, arguing with an impudent descendent and a surly pirate over musicals.”

“He’s the one who’s arguing.” Darcy pointed at Blackbeard. “And no one’s forcing you to stick around. As I recall, you took that mercury voluntarily. No need to haunt me over that.”

“Yes, but one does get bored you know. And there are so many orators in the afterlife; it is difficult to get a word in edgeways.”

Not one to let an argument be lost, Blackbeard started in again. “The 1970 original is better. And that’s final.”

Darcy dropped her head onto her hands. Between the fiery temper of Blackbeard and Patrick Henry’s need to moderate every conversation, she felt she might actually go crazy. “Fine, you win. The original is better. Now can we please talk about something else?”

“Would anyone like to hear my speech again?” Patrick asked hopefully.

“NO!” Darcy and Blackbeard shouted together. There was only one thing they agreed upon, and that was that Patrick Henry. Darcy looked at Blackbeard in defeat.

“What's your opinion on  The Phantom of the Opera?”