NaNoWriMo: A Surviver's Guide (With Pictures)

Week Three: Victim has suffered from malnutrition, sleep deprivation, loss of at least one of the five senses, and possibly suffered from brain damage due to multiple blows to the head via coffee pot.

Victim is a known blogger. Code Name: Lucy Wiggins.

The following was a field guide to NaNoWriMo discovered by detectives at the scene.




"Friends and Fellow Inmates (aka: NaNoWriMo participants), 

I may not survive much longer. What I have written here is a testament to withstanding the Evil Forces, also known as, 'Deadline' and 'Misery'.  If I am not alive when you read this, please... don't steal my cupcakes!


You will first begin to notice signs of Deadline and Misery creeping into your home by the piles of unwashed dishes in your sink. (Mother: Avert your eyes!)

Followed by the slow demise of your house plants.

You now have two choices: either surrender immediately to the pressures of The Great NaNoWriMo in order to regain your sanity, or,

put on your ass kickin' boots and hunker down. It's going to be a long write.

If you have chose option 'B', you are most brave. Or possibly have already suffered a psychotic breakdown in the past and have no recollection of the traumatic events.

From here on out all you must do is survive thirteen more days of grueling, self-induced torture...And also reach 50,000 words.

In order to survive, simply set a daily goal and proceed to achieve it. To do this, set a time limit and make sure you have a reward. My suggestion: Cupcakes.

Preferably of the lemon variety with a cream cheese and white chocolate filling. The acidity of the lemon will cut through the nasty buildup of gunk and coffee on your teeth. Thus eliminating the need to waste time brushing them. The delicate filling of cheese and chocolate will curb your craving to either kill or maim one Mr. Willy Wonka. This will enable you to write without disturbance for at least five minutes. Repeat this process as necessary, and as always....

...leave no witnesses."

Best Wishes,

Lucy D. Wiggins